Monday, July 14, 2008

Empty Spaces

The reason I haven't written for five days isn't because I forgot about this blog. I've thought about it every day and wondered if anybody's read it. Of course when I signed on this evening I saw no comments and figured nobody had read it. I'm not giving up though, I want to tell the everybody and nobody that read this about my life. What I'm really thinking about lately is love.
I think that I'm afraid to love. I mean, I love my friends and I love my mom, secretly I even love my father. That's a different story though. The love I'm talking about is different though. My boyfriend, Ryan, and I are so different. He's one of the sweetest guys I've ever met though. I thought our differences didn't compliment eachother. To be honest, I was going to break up with him...but I couldn't. I realized that I just like him too much and I want to let him teach me how to trust. I can't even explain how I feel about him. I'm really frustrated though because he's enlisting in the Marines in October. I want to trust him, but it's hard when I know that he'll just be leaving me. I don't want to get hurt.
More tomorrow...I'm tired.
~Elana Joy

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